Feeling adventurous? In this witty and well-informed guide, bestselling author and chief sex education pundit Violet Blue explains how to choose and use sex toys to play and explore together—and have mind-blowing sex. Also featuring new content by the renowned Dr. Charlie Glickman, The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys helps couples redefine alone time. Violet offers tips on creative usage and ideas for introducing sex toys to a relationship for sex toy novices and practiced enthusiasts alike.
- How to see through exaggerated marketing claims of some manufacturers
- Fun and creative ways to incorporate new technology into your fantasies
- Information on smart shopping and recommended resources
- Vital communication skills, especially for couples
Violet Blue (tinynibbles.com, @violetblue) is the best-selling author of numerous sex-instruction books, including The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus and The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio. She also writes about erotica, pornography, and sexual pleasure and health for magazines such as O: The Oprah Magazine, Newsweek, Cosmopolitan, Esquire, Glamour, Maxim, Marie Claire, Men’s Health, Penthouse, Redbook, and more. She lives in San Francisco.
The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys
By Violet Blue
Of all the sex machines widely available to consumers, the Sybian (sybian.com) is the most popular and widely recognized of them all, perhaps due to its starring role in a significant number of porn films and its use on a variety of adult websites. It’s also an extremely popular machine in the swinging lifestyle (or subculture) and regularly appears as a guest of honor at sex parties.
Looking like the top half of a mechanical bull, the Sybian is shaped like a wide motorcycle seat with a flat base so that the user rides it, or sits astride the machine. It’s a fairly large and heavy machine, at 13’x10’x10′ and 22 pounds, and the rider needn’t worry about it actually moving while in use. It’s also (allegedly) rated to withstand 1,000 pounds. The Sybian is covered in padded black Naugahyde, with the attachments in beige “flesh” tone. The area that does all the work is situated right at the seat’s apex; where the rider’s genitals make contact, a vibrating area stimulates a number of optional attachments. There’s no in-and-out thrusting by this machine, but instead it gives intense, variable-speed vibrations or rotating action to attachments that range from a “flat” dildo to dildos of different sizes, and even a double penetration attachment. The user can sit in place, “ride” the machine, or wiggle around all he or she likes.
The Sybian runs on standard U.S. 120v current and also has a 240v version for worldwide use; it simply plugs into the wall socket and you’re ready to go. A cable extends from the machine, connecting a very basic control box that controls vibration intensity and rotation. It’s a quite loud machine and not recommended if you have concerns about noise, though one solution is to place the machine on a padded surface like a bed or cushion to absorb the loud motor sounds.
The Sybian’s attachments are made of rubber—sadly, they’re not made of hygienic silicone, so extra steps will need to be taken to ensure cleanliness. Rubber can’t be sterilized, so it’s not recommended that you share this machine unless you’ve cleaned the machine and toys with bacteria-killing agents. The attachments can withstand a run through the dishwasher on the top rack for a full cycle, though, unlike silicone, they can’t be boiled. To clean between uses, wash with a fragrance-free antibacterial soap like Hibiclens or a 1:10 bleach and water solution, followed by detergent (dish soap) and a hot water rinse. Allow the attachments to dry completely before use; when in doubt about insertion attachments, use a condom on them and be sure the surface of the Sybian has been wiped down with a sterile towelette or solution. The Sybian sells a novelty-manufactured “toy cleaner” as the recommended cleaner—though it’s nothing more than dish soap with the ingredient Nonoxynol-9 (an irritating detergent that’s been shown to cause cervical abrasions when used in lubricants, and kills HIV/AIDS only in clinical settings).
Roll Your Own Sex Machines?
Whether you want to save money or make your dream machine, building your own fuck machine is no small project. You’ll need a basic knowledge of mechanics and motors, skill with household wiring, and familiarity with aspects of sex toys such as how they deliver pleasure to the user and how you can keep everything on them clean.
Ways Two Can Play on a Sex Machine
• Watch porn together while using the machine.
• Just watch your lover have fun with the machine.
• One receives oral sex (standing in front) while the other rides.
• Take turns with the controls.
• One rides, the other fondles and plays with the rider.
• Get kinky: The rider gets handcuffed, or arms are bound.
• Blindfold the rider and surprise them with squeezes, spanks, feathers, or more.
So the Sybian is popular, even though it is somewhat clunky, and the claims about women and orgasm on the company’s website are a little dated…but does it work? Most certainly. The Sybian is a swingers’ party favor and a porn star for a good reason: It delivers strong, consistent stimulation; it’s easily controllable by the user for getting “just right” stimulation at precisely the right times; and it’s comfortable to sit on. It’s often seen in female masturbation porn films where the orgasms (for once) are authentic. The Sybian has a well-earned reputation for excellent G-spot stimulation and for producing terrific results in female ejaculation. For couples, the Sybian offers lots of play options, most notably in situations where one player just wants to watch, where lovers want to trade use of the controls, or where the rider wants to perform oral sex on their lover while riding. In power exchange scenarios, the machine can be used as an instrument of both pleasure and punishment, when one of the partners is “made” to stay on the machine.
The Sybian company also sells a sex machine for men called the Venus 2000, an electricity-powered stroker with variable speed vibration and stroke controls. It’s basically an 11-pound black box that the penis goes into, where inside it’s surrounded by a rubber liner and machinery that tugs, sucks, strokes, and vibrates the penis. There are some pretty funny claims on the website about how the machine creates erections, “trains” against premature ejaculation, and “Maintains Penial Health” (sic), which should all be taken with a good-natured grain of salt. A variety of inserts and attachments is available.
This book rocks. Violet Blue is one of my favorite non-fiction (and fiction too) sex writers. She tells it like it is and you end up learning a whole lot more coming out (no pun intended) than you did when you started. This book is perfect for those who may not be experienced in sex toys and are looking for a good reference guide to bring them up to speed. It covers all kinds of things…machines, anal play, BDSM, vibrators and more. A wonderful addition to my library! I was particularly interested in the sex machine entries. I had heard about the Sybian and the wonderful folks at Cleis graciously sent me the book and also sent over an excerpt for the tour.
Here is a chapter listing for all you curious types:
1. Basic Models and Care and Feeding of Your Toys
2. First Time Toys and Gifts
3. Come Together
4. Kinky Toys for Two
5. Stap-Ons and Bend Over Boyfriend
6. Teledildonic Toys: Online Sex for Two
7. Sex Machines
8. Exotic Sex Toys
9. Sex Furniture
10. Shop Smart and Recommended Resources
So, you can see there is a ton of great information and some helpful illustrations to get adventurous couple started on a happier toy box. The voice of the book is light and fun and very informative. I love the ideas at the end of some of the chapters and on page 28 there is a great chart that tells you what you need for which particular thing. Very good advice for the novice or someone who is trying to find out more about bedroom sports. If you have ever wanted a non-threatening guide to getting your kink on, then this is the resource you need to have. A lot of sexiness crammed into 140 pages.
Overall, I found this book to be well written and wonderfully informative. I think I may have even learned a thing or two! *wink* Violet has done it again and I now have a great resource that will live on my bookshelf forever! Now we just need the coffee table version! lol.